Shhhhh
by SilverChaos-Cosplay
Summary: When a relationship between Haru and Rin is kept a secret, Haru takes matters into his own hands and makes a decision. Only to find out he actually had what he wanted the entire time.
1. Chapter 1

The sun casts broken shards of light across the bed. I roll over and come face to face with a crumpled blue tee-shirt that smells like saltwater and happiness. I push my head against Rin's chest to listen to his heart beating as he snores softly. Wow, last night was... amazing, and now waking up in his arms, legs intertwined, I can't help but frown at the thought that in a few hours he will leave. And I will have to pretend that none of this ever happened. Small tears spring to my eyes and I sniffle a bit.  
"What's wrong" he asks me, half asleep.

"N-nothing, it's nothing"

I bury my face in his chest and try not to think about it. He slides down so we are face to face and presses his forehead into mine.  
"I know what will cheer you up."  
He kisses me softly.  
My whole body reacts, my heart rate quickens, my face flushes, and my mind's soul focus is his body pressed against mine. The kisses get more intense and he rolls on top of me. I pull away.  
"We umm… Should get ready for practice…" I practically whisper. It's already noon and Makoto will kill us if we're late.  
"Shit your probably right" he kisses my forehead one last time and hops out of my bed. I am immediately filled with regret when I see him in the early afternoon light.

Puberty hit him like a truck.  
His tall frame, and muscular swimmers build (paired with his red hair, messy with casual bed head, and his sharp teeth hidden behind a smirk,) are nearly enough for me to pull him back into bed again. Instead I sit up and dig around for my underwear, while watching Rin get dressed.  
Dig, dig, dig.  
God he's gorgeous.  
Dig, dig.  
He's even sexy when he's putting his clothes back on.  
Bingo! I pull on my boxers and get out of bed for the rest of my clothes.

Rin leaves fifteen minutes before me so he can get to practice first and avoid suspicion. On the walk to practice I replay the previous night in my head over, and over. I hate that He has this affect on me.


	2. Chapter 2

Practice is hard.  
The fake smiles and pretending there is nothing between us is killing me.  
But the second I'm in the pool, all of that washes away. There is nothing but me and the water. My mind is clear. We are one. It makes me feel in control, there is no pain, no worry, just the chemical ridan beauty surrounding me.

It's pretty much the best thing ever.

In the locker room after practice I take a long shower to "gather my thoughts" (and pray to god everyone is gone by the time I get out). When I step out of the stall every one has left except for makoto, who is primping himself in front of the mirror. I get dressed then join him.  
"You did great in practice today" I say casually, trying hide my annoyance that he hasn't left yet.

"I'm okay. But no one can swim like you Haru." Why is he being so nice to me?

"Hey, what's that?" he says pointing to my neck. "Are those hickeys?"  
I look in the mirror and notice small bruises.  
Rin said he was marking me as his own last night when he bit me, I hadn't noticed the marks till now.  
"Oh that.. its not… I burned myself with a straightening iron…"  
He smiles and blushes slightly.  
"Okay good. Because well, you see I was hoping-"  
He turns suddenly then pushes me up against a locker,  
",that you and I could have some fun" He smirks.  
I don't know what to say… Makoto has always been timid and shy. This is unlike him. Before I have time to think more, he kisses me. Not soft and full of affection like Rin, but hard and full of lust.

He grabs at my hips and pulls me into him. Do I like this? I can tell he's getting frustrated that I'm not kissing back, but we're so close he must feel the warmth in my shorts.  
I can't help it, the way he scratches at my back, bites my lower lip. I have to admit he's a good kisser. I feel his hand start unbuttoning my bottoms, and I squeak into his mouth. As he starts to slide his hand down, I hear a scream.  
We stop. Look towards the door... And there stands Nagisa. He looks horrified, (I mean how could he not, his best friends looked like they were trying to eat each other…)  
I push Makoto out of the way, grab my bag, and run out the door. Leaving Makoto to explain the situation to Nagisa.


	3. Chapter 3

Back home in my room, I lay staring at the stark white ceiling, wearing nothing but my bathingsuit and a half-zipped sweatshirt.  
Did I like kissing Makoto? I definitely wasn't stopping him. But what about Rin?  
I know he isn't my boyfriend or anything, but he cares about me. At least I hope so.  
My thoughts are interrupted by a faint tapping at my window. Of course... he told me he would come by tonight. I walk to the window and help Rin in.  
He hugs me and I pull him to the bed.  
"Wow someone got in the mood fast. I didn't even say hi" He says jokingly.

"N-no it's not that," I zip up my sweater, "Something happened today." I look down.

He gets close to me, "Yes, Haru?" he whispers so seductively I shiver.

I explain what happened with Makoto today in the locker room. When I finish I'm close to tears.  
"I'm sorry Rin."

When I finally look up I expect him to be mad, but he's smiling. He stradles my hips and pushes me down onto the bed.  
"Don't you worry your pretty little self over it," he says with a sexy smile, "Makoto is a dick though for messing with my man." He chuckles, "But don't worry, I'm going to make you forget all about him"

"R-really?" I stammer.

"Yeah, right now" and with that he bends down and starts kissing my neck.  
I can already feel myself getting turned on. He bites down slightly and I dig my nails into his back. I can feel his smile on my skin.  
He moves up and licks my lower lip, Rin's kisses are always so full of passion. While he kisses me he uses one hand to pin my wrists above my head and the other hand wanders to grope the outside of my swimsuit.  
I moan slightly. He stops kissing me for a second to unzip my sweatshirt, and releases my wrists so I can take it off. Still straddling me he takes off the rest of his clothes with quickness and efficiency of a true swimmer. I must be blushing horribly. He pulls down my swimsuit slowly and tosses it across the room.

(Note to self: Swimsuit behind dresser. Black with subtle variations of purple accents).

He get's on top of me again, planting soft kisses along my collar bones, running small circles on my thighs with his fingertips. He kisses my lips and pushes my legs open with his knee…  
Shivers run down my spine, i can feel his cold, soft fingers, in a place no one else ever gets to touch. A small gasp escapes me and I wiggle a bit at his touch.  
"I like it when you squirm" he smirks, and starts moving his hand in a rhythmic motion.  
I can feel my face go red as I scratch at his back, helplessly. My soft moans betray me and I blush harder, biting my lower lip to keep from making too much noise.  
After all my mothers right downstairs…  
I feel sweet relief and something wet on my stomach, Rin laughs at how quickly I cum.

"Shut up" I cover my face with my hands, I can't help it. He's far more experienced than me…  
He leans over me and asks me if I'm ready for more. I nod shakily, and he rolls me over… 


	4. Chapter 4

It has been four days since I have heard from Rin.  
He does this every time. Makes me feel loved, dependant on him, we have sex, then disappears, and leaves me to put myself back together. In a few weeks he will get horney and start returning my texts. Until then I'm alone. Asshole.

I don't know why I let him do this to me… He's just so… He makes me feel like a whole person, like when I swim. I mean nothing could even begin to compare to swimming, but the way he makes me feel comes pretty damn close.

Makoto won't stop calling. I delete his messages without listening to them, and avoid him at practice. I know I'm being cruel but I mean, how am I supposed to deal with Makoto, when I'm so depressed over Rin… But then again, he is ignoring me… and Makoto deserves some kind of explanation…  
Fuck it, I'm calling him.

Ring ring ring  
Maybe this is a bad idea…  
Ring ring ring  
What am I even going to say?  
Ring ring  
I'm hanging up.  
Ring-  
"H-hello?" He answers sleepily. I forgot it's nearly four a.m… Oops.

"Hi, it's Haru."

"Oh! Hi!" He seems awake now, "I'm sorry I've been calling you so much, I just wanted to apologize, I never should have cornered you like that… It's just I heard you were seeing someone, and I've had a bit of a crush on you for a while now, I'm sure it was obvious… So I wanted to, you know, throw my hat in the ring-"

"Hey can you meet me somewhere?" I cut him off before he runs out of breath, I don't think he took one that entire time.

"Uh sure… Where?" He says, unsteady.

"The 24hour diner near my house. 20 minutes."  
"Deal" 


	5. Chapter 5

Makoto is already at the diner as I arrive. I sit across from him in a booth, taking in his subtle features. No one speaks.  
In the silence I take a moment to appreciate him. His slim body, built up from swimming was bigger, but still not as seductive as Rins, his big, bright green eyes. Hypnotizing. He seems so happy to see me. It's hard for me to say I'm attracted to him, I don't want to be. And yet thinking about the other night in the locker room stirs hints of arousal in me. God damnit.

He seems to like me enough, and Rin ignoring me is awful. But do I really want to do this?  
"Sssssooooooooooo…." Makoto says fiddling with his fork.  
He is pretty cute, but this is getting awkward. Say something,stupid!  
"Hey-" , We both speak at the same time. There is a second of awkward silence before he laughs. I grin a little.  
Makoto is cute when he laughs, the way his hair falls around his face, or the way his muscles…  
No. Not now… It can't be… I look down at my lap and blush. I have a hard on for Makoto. What the fuck?

This will never do. I put a napkin in my lap and try to ignore it. I glance up at Makoto, he looks worried, shit.  
"Listen haru, i want to apologize for-" I cut him off by kicking him under the table. Bringing up the locker room is not going to help my situation.  
"Ow! Haru that hurt." He whines with a fake smile.  
He is always deceiving, smiling, pretending to care, but does he really?  
Does Makoto care about me? Does Rin? I don't know.  
All I know is a have a boner for the boy across from me, and those puppy eyes are not helping. This needs to be taken care of.

I walk around the booth and sit next to him, so close I'm practically in his lap.  
"You can hurt me back if you want?" I whisper and bite his ear.  
He blushes and stutters,  
"D-don't joke around like that!" and blushes deeper.  
I have no idea what I'm doing.  
My body wants Makoto, but my heart wants Rin. So do I think with my heart, or do I think with my dick? Well right now my dick is bit more demanding so I'm going with that.

Makoto is staring at me like I'm on exhibit. I grab his hand and pull him out of the booth.  
"We're leaving" I say as i pull him out the door and he stumbles to keep up.  
I know how to forget Rin, hell it's how we first fucked.


	6. Chapter 6

We're here. After what felt like forever and 12,000 dead ends (20minutes), we're finally under the sakura tree. The same tree we promised to "swim for the team" under.  
There are no blossoms now, only bare branches, and light layer of snow.  
But I'm not here for the tree, I reach into a small knot hole, and retrieve a bottle of whisky.  
"Haru what are we doing here?" Makoto mumbles at the back of my head.  
I reveal the bottle and take a swig. Liquid courage slides down my throat and warms my body.  
"I'm sorry, Makoto we can leave soon. I just needed to get a little bottle of… Encouragement."  
I wink, he blushes and stares at his toes.

Makoto shifts the dirt around with his feet and my mind wanders back to the owner of the bottle.  
Rin showed me his "hiding place" so his sister (Gou? Kou? Who the fuck cares,) wouldn't find it in the house.  
Fuck I can't think about Rin.  
I walk over to Makoto who is starting to look nervous.  
"What are we doing, Haru? Why do you want to talk to me, I…" while Makoto keeps babbling for what seems like a lifetime, (1.57minutes) I take another swig of the spicy, bitter liqueur before filling my mouth with it and holding it there. I look at Makoto, who is still mid, mindless confession. I could care less about his feelings at this point. I move swiftly, guiding the side of his face and pushing my mouth onto his.

His mouth open, mid-sentence, I take it as an invitation. I use my tongue to help the whiskey down. Fueled with the warm liquid and the heat of the moment, he pulls me close, he knows what I want.  
I come up for air, and catch my breath. He goes back in to kiss me, but I pull the bottle to lips instead.  
"Let's go." I say handing Makoto the bottle.

"Where?" He asks moving closer to me. The moonlight, plus the liquor, are only making him sexier.

"Your place." I take another swig for luck and kiss him again. He grabs my hand and we start towards his house. Honestly I don't care where we go, this just needs to be handled.  
After we walk for a while Makoto takes a long pull from the bottle and I frown.  
"What?", he scoffs, "You're not the only one who gets to take advantage of this bottle." He smirks.

"I'm not taking advantage of it, It just loves me more." I say taking the bottle from his hands.

He laughs with a challenged look in his eyes, then grabs my hands and pulls me with him into an alley. I back into the side of a building and he gets so close to me I can feel his breath. We both smell heavily of liquor and I love it. He pushes his leg between mine, parting them. I'm sure he can feel my boner and I blush.  
God I'm dizzy. He puts his arms around me and supports me so I don't fall.  
It feels so good to have him hold me. His whole body has lust written all over it, I look into his eyes and drop the bottle. It shatters on the concrete, broken glass and whisky roll over the pavement in a light trickle.

He pushes into me, his face so close to mine, his whole body pressed against mine. We kiss, so passionately I get goose bumps. Our tongues fight for dominance. The heat is overwhelming, I'm tipsy and confused. Everything is happening so fast.  
My legs are around his waist and he seems to have lost his shirt. Snow gathers in his hair and drips down his back. We are going to have sex in this alley, screw Rin, he doesn't care about me.

He pulls away. I pull him back, there is no stopping now.  
"If you walk away from this" I say, out of breath, "I will never forgive you."  
He smiles at my words, and leans in to whisper, "I promise,"  
I feel his smile on my skin and know I've made the right decision. 


	7. Chapter 7

I wake up to a pounding in my head.  
Where am I? What happened? Last thing I remember was Makoto and the cherry tree…  
Makoto!  
I open my eyes and see his hands wrapped around me from behind. The whole night comes rushing back to me.  
The whisky, Makoto, the sex, coming back here, more sex, and passing out.  
I frown at the pain in my lower back, (I should really try being on top sometime.)  
but Makoto knows what he's doing, so gentle and loving… My mind drifts through the evening, like an old man fondly remembering the days of his youth. It may not have been a good idea but damn it was good.

I'm snapped back into reality when Rin crosses my mind and I sit up suddenly.  
Owie, I forgot about the hangover, it feels like someone is renovating inside my head..  
I get out of bed gingerly. Can't wake Makoto. I gather my things, kiss his cheek, then slip out the window into the early morning light.  
This was a mistake. I can feel it in my stomach.  
I won't say I didn't like it, but I know it was wrong. 


	8. Chapter 8

It took five weeks for Rin to break the silence.  
I've been hooking up with makoto for two weeks now, I have to get drunk every time, and when I close my eyes I think of Rin.  
I feel so guilty.  
Partly for abusing Makoto, I can tell he wants more from me than drunken sex.  
And for being unfaithful to Rin. But if he wanted fidelity he shouldn't have left so many times.  
Besides, I see the way he looks at Sosuke, I'm not the only boy in his playbook.

(More like Sos-gayyy)

But back to the silence. Rin texted me 20 minutes ago asking if I could come over.  
I want to go to him so bad.  
To feel his skin against my own, his warm strong arms around me.  
I want him to numb the pain and make me feel alive.  
But if I go to him he will only hurt me.  
But I do need to talk to him...  
Fuck it I'm doing it.

*in Rin's bedroom approximately 20 minutes later*

I sit on his bed with my legs crossed and he sits on a desk chair across from me.  
"Thank you for coming over," he says, "I need to talk to you… about, things…"  
Something is wrong. He won't look me in the eye, and there is nothing reassuring in his words.  
"...I've been hearing… rumors about you Haru..." He stumbles over his words a bit,  
"you know Makoto can't keep his mouth shut. I know I don't treat you the way that I should, and we never said we were exclusive, I sure as hell can't say I've been one hundred percent faithful, but god this hurts. What are you doing with him Haru?" Are those tears in his eyes?

"R-rin… you know I… I care about you…" No I can't just give him what he wants.  
"Makoto cares about me. I know I'm the only one he's with and he always returns my calls. I want to be with you Rin but it hurts. I can never tell how you feel about me and you're never here when I need you." I stare at my toes. I'm nervous for him to react but this feels so good, "Sosuke may not mind but I can't share." I look up. He stares me dead in the eye,  
"And yet you want me to?" He walks over and sits close to me on the bed and leans in,  
"I won't share you, Haru. If that means I have to break it off with Sosuke then so be it. I'm willing to change for you. I want you Haru." I can feel his words brush against my neck and I crumble.

I slide my arms around his waist,  
"You promise?" I whisper.  
"I swear." He smiles and pushes me into his mattress.  
His kisses are like drugs to me. It's an addiction, so powerful it can crush me if I'm not careful.  
Tonight they start soft, pulling me in before crashing down on me. Its like theres a prize at the back of my mouth that we fight over.  
He pulls back and stares at me with a deviant look in his eyes.  
"Close your eyes" He whispers to me.  
I do as I'm told and cover them with my hands. His weight shifts and when it returns he lifts my wrists above my head. I hear a click and feel cold metal on my skin. I open my eyes and when I pull on my wrists they don't budge.

I arch my back and see shiny handcuffs confining my wrists to the headboard.  
My heart is beating so fast, I can't tell if I'm scared or excited.  
Both. Let's go with both.  
Rin is definitely excited.  
He leans down to bite and kiss my neck while pushing his hips into mine.  
I squirm in my bonds and feel my stomach drop.  
"I hate you." I mumble, though my words are soaked in lust.

"Prove it." He smirks and kisses from my collar bones all the way down to the edge of my pants.  
As he undresses me I feel a pang of guilt for Makoto.  
But my mind clears when I feel Rin's teeth, tugging down my swimsuit.  
I watch him undress next.  
God it's hot in here.  
I want to touch him, but I'm confined. I tug again. Nothing.  
He reaches into his dresser and pulls out a bottle of Lubricant.

Three rules of Gay Sex:  
Lot's of lube  
Go slow  
Communication

Part one is done. His hands are caring and the lube is cold.  
I squirm at the familiar, yet still off putting feeling and he laughs. A small gasp escapes me when I feel him inside of me.  
I get lost in the moment. The way he touches me, the way his skin feels against my own, it's.. it's infatuating.  
He moans into my ear and a strain at my bonds, I feel so helpless. He bites down on my ear and… Fuck... I ruin his sheets.  
A hot throbbing warmth is sent over my body. My body is paralyzed from the ecstasy of having sensations spread through my body. I can feel the pain from the handcuffs as I pull on them, but it feels really good. The warm tingling feeling fades and I come back to reality.

Rin moans loudly.  
He roll of me and lays next to me, catching his breath.  
I guess he came to. Cool.  
He uncuffs me and as a rub my wrists he examines the damage.  
I am covered in, hickeys, bruises, bite marks, and deep scratches.  
He kisses my forehead, and wraps me up in his arms and legs.  
"I love you." He says.  
My whole body is filled with warmth, "I love you to."  
I smile and drift into a blissful sleep. 


	9. Chapter 9

Tweet Tweet

Fucking birds.  
Todays the day I break it off with Makoto.  
I don't want to hurt him but it has to be done.  
I'm in love with Rin. There's no getting around it at this point.  
Just as I roll over to go back to sleep, I hear the familiar song of Makoto's ringtone and groan.  
"Hello?" I answer groggily.  
"Haru! I'm sorry did I wake you?"  
"Of course you did it's only-"  
I roll and look at the clock, it's already two in the afternoon. Oops.  
"Oh I'm sorry, it's just you texted me yesterday asking if we could meet up today, and well, I have the house all to myself." He says flirtatiously.  
I feel a pang of guilt and tell him I'll be right over.

(20minutes later in the Tachibana residence)

Standing in front of his door I try to tell myself I'm doing the right thing. Makoto deserves way more than this. My heart doesn't belong to him and it's unfair to lead him on this way.  
Before my hand even touches the door to knock Makoto swings it open and pulls me in.  
I sit on the couch next to him and he starts to talk a mile a minute explaining the wriggling thing in his arms.  
"I'm sooooo sorry my parents stuck me with my baby cousin last minute and I was gonna call you and tell you to not come over but as soon as I picked up the phone you were already out front and I'm so glad you're here is don't know how to take care of a baby soooooo," He stops to take a breath, "Haru, meet Tamaki." He pushes the baby at me, it's if he wants me to hold it.

I gingerly take the demon and hold it as far from my body as possible. Makoto frowns at me.  
"Here let me help you," He moves my arms and pulls the baby close to me so I hold it properly, I look into its big, innocent blue eyes and glare.  
"...Anyways, if we get him to sleep, we can talk about whatever you needed to."  
Challenge accepted.

(-roughly five hours later-)

It took five fucking hours to get the devil reincarnate to sleep.  
Makoto and I lay on the floor surrounded by debris, both breathing heavy.  
"So, what did you want to talk to me about?" He asks.  
I pull him to his room and sit him on his bed. I push him down kissing him tenderly, memorizing his body with my hands. I know what I have to do, but he earned this. Watching him take care of the beast, with such love, and patients, made me respect him so much more. I pull away and rest my head on his chest, listening to his increasing heart beat. Today was a glimpse into what it would be like to have a future with Makoto, he would love me unconditionally, but that's not what I want, it's boring.  
I tear up a bit.  
"Makoto, I-"  
"I know," he says lightly petting my head. "you don't have to say it, you belong someone else."  
"I'm sorry, I wanted to care for you the way you care about me, I just can't get over him, I know I'm stupid. But what can I say, I love him." I cry into his chest.  
"You're not stupid. Just remember," He tilts my head and kisses my forehead, "When he hurts you, I'll be waiting." He kisses me one last time and I know he means it. 


	10. Chapter 10

I need to find Rin now.  
Leaving Makoto was all I needed to fully give my heart over to Rin. And he needs to know it.  
But where would he be at this hour? It's nearly eight at night…  
Swim practice!  
To Samazuka Academy!

I run the entire way to Samazuka, grinning like an idiot. As I slide down the halls trying to find the pool I can't help but laugh, I feel free.  
Foounnd it!  
I burst through the door and walk right up to Rin, who stands in a corner talking to a few of his team mates.  
"What are you doing here, Ha-" I cut him off planting my lips firmly on his. Everything around me falls away as I pull his body into mine, kissing him so deeply I feel his knees weaken against me. His shock wears off and he kisses me back running his fingers down my spine, every movement in tune with mine.  
It's electric.

I force myself to pull away and look in his eyes.  
"What was that?" he asks, blushing brightly.  
"I Love You!" I shout, for the whole world to hear.  
I hear someone clap and the whole room joins in and whistling and cheering me on. I kiss him again.  
He grabs my hand and pulls me close to him. "I love you to." he whispers in my ear.  
"Now lets go home."

The End ~


End file.
